


Could Have, Would Have, Should Have

by cold_feets



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-28
Updated: 2011-07-28
Packaged: 2017-10-21 20:26:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/229459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cold_feets/pseuds/cold_feets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times Sam wants to kiss Cas, but doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Could Have, Would Have, Should Have

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for S6. Includes extremely vague implied non-con.

_could have_

Sam is soulless and full of empty spaces, and it would be so easy for him to take and push and have. Cas looks at him with those sad eyes, like Sam is some small, broken thing and it pains Cas that he cannot fix him. And while Cas would not give under his touch--too strong, too solid--Sam shivers at the thought that, for all his power, Cas might not fight back, too worried that he might damage Sam further.

 

_would have_

Cas falls in a silent, stoic way that is wholly Cas. Dean figures he's been human enough times that he's resigned himself to the inevitability of falling, and he accepts it quietly, relearning his boundaries daily. His strength fades, and he looks older, more fragile, diminished in one of Dean's old shirts and ill-fitting jeans that hang loose on his hips.

The afternoon comes when Cas is defeated by the lid on a jar of mayonnaise, and Sam watches as Cas struggles and twists and finally laughs, a hollow, broken sound as he sets it back on the counter. Sam rests a reassuring hand between Cas's shoulder blades, and he bristles at the touch, muscles tensing beneath Sam's palm. But when Sam slides his hands up, curls around the overwarm skin of his neck, Cas's head drops against his chest as he lets out a shaky breath. He reaches blindly until his fingers tangle in the side of Sam's shirt, and he just holds on and breathes, and Sam just stays right there with him.

 

_should have_

They split the last beer on Bobby's porch, two men who have been patched together but are now fully whole again, or as close to it as they could ever hope to be. The sky is clear, the stars are bright, and Sam feels something like contentment settling on him for the first time in ages.

Beside him, Cas sighs.

"You okay?" Sam asks.

Cas settles back and rests his elbows on the top stair, tilting his head up to the sky. He takes in the stars for a moment then looks at Sam and smiles. "Yeah. I am."


End file.
